I Believe In Your Promises

Are you calling me in this ministry?

For the past two years I sat back and watched God bless this music ministry and bring healing to many souls. Now; here I was sitting alone in my dark room in a state of depression. There had been no bookings for one whole year, my financial responsibility was overwhelming and I was angry at God. I was exhausted trying to find the time to do all the things that needed to be done. As a mother and wife there was housework and cooking; commitments at my local church for activities and prayer; the work load of the ministry in planning bookings and flight schedules, preparing teachings and talks, and writing the songs for the next CD project. My anger was directed to my husband, kids and friends. Everyone was put on HOLD because I HAD A MINISTRY TO RUN.

God where are you?

When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you.
Your troubles will not overwhelm you. (Isaiah 43: 2)

The enemy was pressing in hard; I was filled with doubt and the call in my life. Did God really put this vision on my heart or was it my own vision to fulfill my own creative need? I fell into self pity, and I felt I had failed God, failed my family and failed my friends. Maybe I wasn’t praying enough or maybe I wasn’t holy enough to be worthy of serving God? Desperate to find answers, I began spending hours at adoration, prayer meetings, bible studies, healing services and as many conferences as I could get to. Still, no answers, but the extra time separated me even further from the ones I loved. I was totally unaware of how I was hurting them and found myself in a place of denial and deeper depression. I began to entertain thoughts of leaving this world and the joy of heaven, where I could rest in the arms of Jesus in total peace. Lord where do I need to change? I have nothing left to try.

Should I keep trying or just trust?
Finally I came to the place where God wanted me. A place where I was stripped of SELF, a place where I could not CONTROL everyone and everything no more, a place of DESPERATION, a place of SURRENDER, a place of TRUSTING. I humbly came before the Lord and asked the Holy Spirit to teach me; show me what I needed to CHANGE in order to believe in your promise.


The first thing I found myself doing was looking up the word "promise" in the Winston dictionary defined as 1) a pledge that one will or will not do something or 2) a cause or ground for hope or expectation. I began to challenge myself in the depth of my soul "did I REALLY believe that God will do something in this situation? Then why did I stress myself out in anxiety TRYING TO DO IT ALL? Did I hope and have EXPECTANT faith that God would come through no matter what the circumstances or did I think nothing would happen unless I made it happen?

I could feel the spirit stirring within me as I was inspired to look up the word "covenant". I was obedient to the spirit’s promptings and discovered that the word covenant was defined as a compact agreement, to promise by solemn agreement. When I contemplated this word covenant, I began to think about my marriage when I stood at the altar with Larry and made a promise to him that I would always be there for him in sickness in health, in joys and in sorrows. I began to cry and realized how I had been neglecting my husband and family thinking that the ministry was more important. The Holy Spirit revealed I was not being obedient to God because I was not fulfilling my promise to my marriage, so why would God bless my ministry. God wanted me to know that my FIRST MINISTRY is my marriage and all other blessings flow from this marriage. Can marriage marry ministry? I believe that I cannot separate my ministry from marriage, they go hand in hand.

God is about RELATIONSHIP

It is through my relationship in loving God that strengthens my relationship in loving Larry and in loving others. Each of us have been created by God with our unique talents and abilities to be used to build his kingdom. For example, God has blessed Larry with the ability to be a good farmer just as He has blessed me with the ability to sing. It would be very selfish of me to ask Larry to give up farming so I could sing full time. Jesus is asking me to forget about myself, to always put my partner first in this relationship and encourage him in his talents, just like Christ is asking me to deny myself, follow him and encourage the body of Christ. My marriage prepares me to learn how to love unconditionally in my "little church" at home; helping me to respond in serving Christ by loving the world unconditionally in a larger capacity of the "universal church". God was asking me to TRUST him for all my needs in the ministry and in my marriage. After all it was HIS ministry not mine.

Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave HIS life for it. (Ephesians 5: 22 & 25)

I believe in your promises Lord! Whoever goes to the Lord for safety, whoever remains under the protection of the Almighty, can say to him, "you are my defender and protector. You are my God; in you I trust. (Psalms 91:1-2)

God is faithful! Every time I come to him in total surrender and desire to truly change he is faithful. He has never forsaken me and has always kept his promise. Not in the way that I would have liked but in the way that a Father loves and disciplines his child. I have learned to welcome the trials and tribulations that have allowed me to grow in TRUST and OBEDIENCE. I have learned to not obsess about the little inconveniences and disappointments in life but to practice being grateful each day for those I love and the many little blessings. To enjoy this present moment which will never pass my way again. I trust you Lord and I offer my marriage and this ministry into your hands. Lord, I believe in your promises!

I BELIEVE IN YOUR PROMISES

LORD I BELIEVE, ALL YOUR PROMISES TO ME

YOUR LIFTING ME UP, YOUR FILLING MY CUP

LORD I BELIEVE, YOUR PROMISES, YOUR PROMISES TO ME
I’LL BE YOUR SHELTER WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH A STORM

I’LL SURROUND YOU WITH ANGELS, YOU’LL NEVER BE ALONE

I’LL KEEP YOU FROM DANGER, THROUGH THE NIGHT AND THE DAY

I’LL KEEP MY PROMISE, I’LL SHOW THE WAY.

(refrain)

WHEN YOU PASS THROUGH DEEP WATER AND YOU THINK YOU MIGHT DROWN

WHEN YOU FEEL AS THOUGH YOUR BLINDED BY THE DARKNESS THAT SURROUNDS THAT’S WHEN I’LL BE WITH YOU, I’LL HOLD YOU IN MY HAND

‘CAUSE I LOVE MY CHILDREN, ACROSS THE LAND.

(refrain)

Listen to a clip of the song:
http://ninevehscrossing.com/Hartsook/LH5Track3.mp3

Somebody Here Doesn't Want Me Around

Is the devil really real?
For most of my Christian life I have always heard about God’s love at the pulpit but was never made aware of Satan and his tactics to test me in my faith. Part of me didn’t want to know. Why? Satan’s name was all I needed to hear to put me in a state of fear. Therefore I made a decision to believe that he just didn’t exist! But if I was going to continue in this ministry God was calling me to; I needed to know how to fight in spiritual battle and recognize the devil. God had a plan.

Can a Country Gospel artist sing in a bar?
I was contacted by a Christian man who owned a secular Country bar. He had informed me that he had introduced a new concept of entertainment on a trial basis. The first weekend of every month he was offering Country Gospel Music as a way of evangelizing and bringing glory to God. I wasn’t sure how to respond; it seemed contradictory to what I had always been taught as a Christian. "Lord do you want me to sing in this bar"? As I began to pray I was brought to these scriptures that confirmed I must go.

But how can they call to him for help if they have not believed? And how
can they believe if they have not heard the message? And how can they hear
if the message is not proclaimed? And how can the message be proclaimed if
the messengers are not sent out? (Romans 10:14 & 15)

The Lord reminded me that I had sung in bars for many years throughout my professional career. I had seen the power of a song bring tears to the eyes of many broken hearted people. During the breaks I would find myself sitting with these people and listening to their sad stories. My heart ached to give them encouragement and to let them know that God loved them. Once again, God was granting me another opportunity; reminding me of his son Jesus who proclaimed good news to the outcasts.

Jesus went to the tax collectors house to eat; along with other outcasts. The
Pharisees saw this and asked the disciples "why does your teacher eat with
such people"? Jesus heard this and answered "people who are well do not need
a doctor, but only those who are sick. I have not come to call respectable
people, but outcasts". (Mathew 9: 9-13)

Have you ever stood on a battleground?
The band and I had just finished setting up on stage and we were about to do our sound check. The soundman had a chip on his shoulder but we finally got the settings and mixes in place. We then headed into a room to pray for our protection and that God’s will would be done in the heart of every soul coming into this bar. Then we headed out onto the stage and began to play.

Do you believe this?
As I began to sing my first song a string on the guitar had broke and there were squealing noises coming out of the monitors on the stage floor. We settled the audience with a few jokes as someone back stage fixed the guitar string and we began the same song once again. This time I had a necklace of a crucifix around my neck and it was yanked off my neck and began to fly onto the stage floor. At the same time my wireless microphone which was clipped on the back of my pants was removed and dropped onto the stage floor while another guitar string broke. Was I upset? No, instead I found myself praying under my breath "Holy Spirit I need you" and found myself in a spirit of laughter. I motioned to the rest of the band to pray; there was somebody here that didn’t want us around! The third guitar string was fixed and we attempted to play the same song. T his time we got through the whole song and continued our set of thirty minutes struggling with many more sound problems.

Can the devil be in disguise?
Of course the band and I had a great conversation during our break trying to find some answers as to what we had just been through! We discovered two things. First of all the soundman was the leader of a "cult" that worshiped Satan. He hated Christians but also had a dislike of women, especially women who talked about God. It seemed only right to him that he should do anything he could to help destroy our sound and I am sure he was praying for the devil and his demons to help him; after all he didn’t want the people to hear about God. Secondly, the song that was interrupted three times was a song that spoke about a broken marriage that could be restored with God. During this break a young woman with tears in her eyes approached me to pray with her. We found a quiet place in the pool room and she began to tell me her sad story. Her marriage had ended. Her husband had taken her children and her parents wouldn’t allow her to come back home. I held her in my arms and in that moment she had an encounter with Jesus. He revealed himself to her and told her that he loved her. Great peace came upon her as she thanked me for taking the time to love her. She then handed me a piece of paper which was her suicide note; she had planned on taking her life that night!

Be alert, be on the watch!

Your enemy, the Devil, roams round like a roaring lion looking for someone
to devour. (1 Peter 5:8)

Does the devil exist?
Yes; and I thank God for the grace that kept us persevering in fighting this battle. A battle that saved one soul from taking her life that night as well as many other souls that we are not aware of. I praise God for showing me that as a Christian serving him I will be in the front lines of battle. I need to recognize my enemy and use the weapons HE has given me for warfare.

HOW CAN I HELP MYSELF IN A SPIRITUAL BATTLE?

GOD’S WORD IS "TRUTH"

(Collosians 3:1-4) We are encouraged to put on the mind of Christ.

(Hebrews 4:12) God’s word is like a two edged sword that cuts through all darkness where the spirit and the soul meet.

(Matthew 4:1-11) Jesus used scripture to fight the temptations of the devil.

(John 8:32) If you obey my teaching, you are really my disciples, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free"

(2 Corinthians 10:4-5) We are encouraged to take every thought captive and make it obey Christ.

THE BLOOD OF JESUS
Protection is found in the blood of Jesus. Pray that the blood of Jesus be poured upon the ones you love. In Exodus 12:13 God asked Moses to put blood on the doorposts of their houses to protect them from death and darkness. This blood was a sign of "passover" from death to life, from slavery to freedom. This is celebrated every Easter.

THE NAME OF JESUS
Holds power. The devil hates the name of Jesus, when he hears it he runs!

Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. (Romans 10:13)

PRAYER

Rejoice always, never cease praying, and always give thanks such is God’s
will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

I pray you won't find yourself saying, "Somebody here doesn't want me around."

Love,

Lorraine

Somebody Here Doesn't Want Me Around

I want to tell you a story 'bout a sweet country girl

Fell in love with Jesus and he filled her world

He put a song on her heart and asked her to bring

A lot of little love wherever she sings.

(refrain)

But there’s somebody here doesn’t want me around

I feel like I’m standing on a battleground

There’s somebody here doesn’t want me around

In the name of Jesus I will stand my ground.

Love is a gift God gave through his son

So you and I could love and have a whole lot of fun

We need to remember with every new day

There’s an enemy that wants to steal this love away.

(refrain)

But there’s somebody here doesn’t want me around

I feel like I’m standing on a battleground

There’s somebody here doesn’t want me around

In the name of Jesus I will stand my ground.

(refrain)

But there’s somebody here doesn’t want me around

I feel like I’m standing on a battleground

There’s somebody here doesn’t want me around

In the name of Jesus I will stand my ground.

The microphones not working the equipment has no sound

Guitar strings are breakin’ no replacement to be found

But she keeps right on singing and says with a smile

"I’m gonna take a break, but I’ll be back in a while"

She heads into the room she begins to pray

"Lord I can’t do your work ‘cause someone’s standing in the way

You have all the power, you won’t let me down"

And she walks back in faith into that battleground

(refrain)

But there’s somebody here doesn’t want me around

I feel like I’m standing on a battleground

There’s somebody here doesn’t want me around

In the name of Jesus I will stand my ground.

In the name of Jesus you will leave this town

Listen to a clip of the song:
http://ninevehscrossing.com/Hartsook/LH5Track2.mp3

I'm Ready To Go

Should I go Lord?
I had just returned from Nashville, Tennessee where I had showcased as a Country Gospel artist performing one song for Christian music industry reps. I was hoping to create enough interest for a record contract. Instead, I met a Christian producer who convinced me that my existing CD was poorly produced and would never be accepted as a professional product among the industry. His solution for me was to consider coming to Nashville to record a whole new project that would require a financial risk. This decision could only be made in prayer.

Back home in familiar territory, I could feel the peace and serenity as I walked down my country road; talking to God. "Lord, my heart yearns to accept the proposal from the Christian producer, it is something I have always dreamed of doing since I was a little child but…is this what you really want me to do? I would have to borrow the money and I am afraid to take the risk. Lord, I don’t want to be another artist that uses your name for monetary gain, I want to be obedient. I want to be a person of integrity and will not sell my soul for a dream."

Will you help re-build my city?
That evening I was on my knees in prayer, pleading with the Lord to give me some kind of answer through his word. I closed my eyes and asked the Holy Spirit to guide my hands. I slowly opened up the bible to the end of Matthew’s gospel where Jesus is commissioning his disciples to go out and spread the good news. I could not believe this so I tried it three more times. (Oh ye, of little faith!) Each time my hand was directed to the same place; God was truly commissioning me to go out and spread the gospel.

I remained on my knees in stillness and then God gave me this vision. I saw myself sitting on top of a mountain. I was looking down at the many lights of a very large city. I turned and looked over my left shoulder and saw an angel. The angel pointed to this city and said, "I want you to go into this city and help re-build this city." I looked at the angel as if to tell him, "You’re just an angel; you have no authority to tell me what to do." You see, if I was really supposed to do this, then I wanted to hear it from God Himself! I ignored the angel and continued to admire the beautiful lights of this city. Within a few minutes, I looked over my left shoulder again, and this time it was not the angel but Jesus. He extended His hand out to me, and called me by my name to come towards Him. I got up from my sitting position and walked towards Jesus. He put one arm around me and with the other arm, pointed out toward the city with the beautiful lights, and said, "I want you to go into this city and help re-build my city." But I said, "Lord I can’t go. I’m afraid." He said again, "I want you to go into this city and help re-build my city. Do not be afraid for I will be with you." He then saw that I had one tear running down my cheek, and He cupped my face in His hands and wiped my single tear away. I felt the love radiating from His presence as He gently backed up, and slowly disappeared in the clouds. I then returned to the place on the mountain, and once again began to stare at the beautiful city. This time it was even more beautiful than before.

I have called and chosen you to bring the good news of deliverance, and help rebuild cities that have long been in ruins. (Isaiah 61:1-4)

The next day I wrote the song entitled "I’m Ready To Go" which became the title track of the CD I’m Ready To Go. With the help of the Holy Spirit nine more songs were written within a week’s time to complete the new CD. A date was established for the Nashville recording, the flight was booked and a little girl’s dream was fulfilled. I’m Ready To Go brought recognition as "Christian Entertainer of the Year", "Female Vocalist of the Year" and "Songwriter of the Year". was nominated for "Best Country Gospel Album" which created opportunities to spread the gospel in Canada, United States and Europe. As an artist...

Nothing is impossible with God! I have come to heal the broken hearted, help the blind to see, set the captives free. (Luke 4:14-19)

Jesus is commissioning us to share in His Mission proclaimed in Luke 4: 14-19. Will we use the gifts and talents he has given us to advance the kingdom of God? Will we help to re-build HIS city that lies in ruins? Today, we see so much suffering all around us, so many people that need hope, a hope that can only be found through Jesus Christ. Will you be HIS hands, HIS feet, HIS voice? Then respond to your call and shout LORD, I’M READY TO GO!

Love,
Lorraine

I’M READY TO GO

Lord I’m ready to go, into your city

I heard your voice, call out my name

So what will I do, in your holy city

No need to explain it all over again

I’m ready to go.

Will you let my spirit lead you into a city far and wide

Will you release the captives, from their pain they have inside

Will you heal the broken hearted, and set the prisoners free

Help re-build my city, will you do this for me?

Lord I’m ready to go, into your city

I heard your voice, call out my name

So what will I do, in your holy city

No need to explain it all over again

I’m ready to go.

Will you give to those in mourning, joy instead of grief

Will you sing a song of praise, and bring the gift of peace

Will you comfort all my people, and help the blind to see

Help re-build my city, will you do this for me?

Lord I’m ready to go, into your city

I heard your voice, call out my name

So what will I do, in your holy city

No need to explain it all over again, I’m ready to go

No need to explain it all over again, I’m ready to go

No need to explain it all over again, I’m ready to go….

Listen to a clip of the song:

http://ninevehscrossing.com/Hartsook/LH5Track1.mp3

AN OCEAN OF LOVE

Have you ever sat and stared at an ocean?
My most favorite thing to do in the whole wide world is to sit by the ocean! Wow! There is nothing like it! Once again God fulfills the greatest desire of my heart. A couple of days ago I had the privilege of sitting on the beach near the Atlantic Ocean. I brought my favorite chair and settled down in a comfortable position knowing this would be a time for me "to be still and know that He is God".

The many shades of blue water that seemed to be part of the sky as you looked way beyond the horizon. I began to hear the rolling waves call out my name and feel the intimacy of the Lord in the majesty of all his creation. As the tears rolled down my cheek my heart filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the many blessings in my life. I began to talk to the Lord and I could hear the Holy Spirit whispering these words into my ears. I grabbed a pen and wrote:

THE OCEAN REPRESENTS GOD'S LOVE AND GOD'S MANY PROMISES TO ME.

CLEANSING - water that was used to baptize and to cleanse me of my sin.

WASHING - water to keep me clean physically.

SURVIVAL - water that keeps my body nourished.

WIDE & DEEP - water that is wide and deep representing God’s infinite love.

POWERFUL - water that reminds me that nothing is impossible with God.

RAGING - water that is forceful, like God, in control of all situations.

MAJESTIC - water that reminds us of the Majesty of God and his Kingdom on earth and in heaven.

FRESH FRAGRANCE - water that allows the fragrance of God to radiate to others.

SYMPHONY - waves of water that create a symphony of music like the many people who use their talents in the body of Christ to be a symphony for the glory of God.

ROLLING & RIPPLING - water, as one big wave pushes the small wave into formation reminding me that God pushes me forward guiding my transformation.

GRAINS OF SAND - scour, smooth, and polish hard rocks, reminding me that no matter how small I am, nor how hurt I have been, I have a purpose in God’s plan.

MERCY - an ocean of mercy that is there for each one of us when we come and sit with him. An ocean of forgiveness for those who repent.

I have always been so drawn to water but have never understood why. This particular day I had a heavy heart that was filled with doubt. Did God really call me into this ministry of music and speaking? I began to think of Jesus baptism at the Jordan when a voice came down from heaven and said "this is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased". God reminded me that BEFORE Jesus began his ministry God loved him. Maybe my ministry has not yet been birthed to its fullness BUT God loves me and he is well pleased with me at this time.

Come to the water and let the Lord refresh your soul.

Love,
Lorraine

VICTIM OR VICTOR?

Monday February 19, 2008

What Does the Word "Victim" Mean?
The word "victim" has several meanings. In this post, a victim is a sufferer from mental or physical disease; as well as a person who is cheated. For example, a woman who experiences verbal, physical or sexual abuse will truly experience mental suffering and feel as though she has been cheated out of a normal healthy life. This is the beginning of what I call "the victim trap".

What is a Victim Trap?
A woman falls into a "victim trap" when she has been victimized and then constantly refers to herself as being a "victim." She becomes deeply ingrained with a low self image, and allows feelings of misery and helplessness to overcome her. She feels that she has been taken advantage of without her permission, and that her rights have been violated. She suffers silently for long periods of time not understanding why she has so much pain in her soul. She is afraid to express her feelings and fears taking the risk towards any behavior change because she has convinced herself that she has only known "pain." She obsesses about her pain, and tells her sad story over and over to anyone who will listen. For her, it is important that others know how victimized she has been, how hurt she is and how unfair life has been to her. Her soul is imprisoned, unfortunately, with a false belief—a lie that tells her life will be hard and difficult because GOD HAS ABANDONED HER. When she believes this lie she gives Satan reign over her soul.

The Truth Will Set You Free!
God’s Word, however, is TRUTH – not a lie -- and she needs to replace the lie about her worthlessness with God’s promise of purpose and good. The truth is found in Deuteronomy 4:31 where it says:

He is a merciful God. He will not abandon you or destroy you, and he will not forget the covenant that he himself has made with your ancestors.

Suffering is not REAL abandonment even though it feels that way. We are reminded of Jesus dying on the cross, his blood dripping to the ground, the soldier’s gambling for his garments, when he prayed: "Father why have you abandoned me?" But, God the Father did not abandon Jesus even though to Jesus’ human nature it felt like it. God was fulfilling his great promise of salvation for the entire world, to which Christ’s divine nature was a willing partner. Christ embraced that suffering, and thus fulfilled God the Father’s promise not to abandon those of us who have fallen victim to the pains of this life.

Can the Victim Trap Become Habitual?
A habit is an action so often repeated that it becomes a fixed characteristic in our lives. As long as she continues to believe the lie of "God’s abandonment" she will be trapped in habitual feelings of misery and negative feelings -- even when good things happen to her! For example, if someone says to her: "You’ve got a nice family!" She replies with a sigh, "Yes, but there are so many problems… we’ve had such hard times." Or: "Your career is certainly going well!" To which she lets out an even longer sigh and says, "Ah, but there is such a price to pay for success -- all that extra work…" She has an incredible, almost amazing ability to find misery in any and every situation, even the most wonderful of circumstances. So with shoulders bent, head down, she shuffles through life taking her "blows"!

You are Not a Victim, You are a Victor!
But then there’s the VICTOR! A victor is someone who conquerors, someone who wins; and yet here’s the amazing thing about a victor: A victor often goes through all the pains and sufferings a victim experiences. The difference? The victor works and perseveres through the pain and suffering until she finds its purpose, and then finds healing and freedom. A victor has self-determination to fight the good fight (and here’s the secret) with whatever it takes – for however long -- until the battle is won.

God wants you to know that you are not a victim but a VICTOR. You are a conqueror and a winner! Why? You are HIS child and he created every part of you and knows everything about you from conception to your death. He has NOT ABANDONED YOU. His love for you is so great; you can never be separated from his love.

Romans 8:37-39 tells us:

In all things we have complete victory through him who loved us. That nothing can separate us from the love of God; neither death nor life, neither angels nor other heavenly rulers or powers, either the present nor the future, neither the world above nor the world below, there is nothing in all creation that will ever be able to separate us from the love of God which is ours THROUGH Christ Jesus our Lord.

As long as we believe the lie we will remain a victim obsessing in our pain living in the past, missing the present moment and fearful of the future—Satan wins and has reign over our soul. Jesus tells us in John 10:10, however, "the thief comes in order to steal, kill and destroy. I have come that you might have life; life in all its fullness."

LET’S CELEBRATE…

Today is the day! Take off that gray cloak of despair, negative thinking and victimization. Throw it away! We may have been victimized, we may have allowed ourselves to be victimized but WE ARE NOT VICTIMS. WE ARE VICTORS! We are children of God who can be victorious through HIS son Jesus Christ. There is no suffering that Jesus does not understand, HE feels your pain but he cannot take it away from you unless you GIVE IT TO HIM. Come and kneel before the cross in surrender and say; "Jesus I am making a decision to be a VICTOR and not a VICTIM. I give you all my pain and I offer it up for all those who have been victimized in some way. Give me the strength I need to be victorious in this battle. I love you Jesus and I trust in you with all my heart.

God bless,
Lorraine

HELP LOVE STAND

I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith to move mountains, but…if I have no love, I am nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

Do I see Christ in the unlovable?

Here I was in my hotel room. It was 3:00 AM and I had been reading this particular scripture for several hours now! Lord what are you trying to tell me? In six hours, I was expected to be at the front gates of the prison, where I would be frisked by security, escorted into a prison chapel that would minister to approximately 60 male inmates. I would then be driven over to the women’s prison, to minister to them as well. At this point in time, I had nothing prepared on paper but I knew God was doing a work in my heart. I had never done prison ministry before but everything I knew about prisons did not paint a positive picture. I sat in God’s presence believing His word that "perfect love drives out all fear". (1John 4:18) I stepped out in faith trusting, that it isn’t about what Lorraine can do, but what the Lord wants to do through Lorraine.

I continued reading this passage of scripture and as I stopped to ponder, I received a vision of Jesus, walking through the corridors of the prison. He entered into each cell, sat on the edge of the bed and laid His hand on their hearts. He looked at them with such love, almost like a mother that looks upon her child sleeping. I began to cry, knowing how much He loved them, and I began to feel their pain within my heart for the absence of love they so desperately needed. Jesus taught me that night that no other gift can be manifested without love, and the greatest gift I could bring was His love. I tossed and turned as I tried to sleep for the few remaining hours but morning had already broken. I had nothing prepared on paper but I knew that Jesus had prepared my heart, and I would trust the Holy Spirit to guide me.

I went through the security check along with my band. Every instrument was thoroughly checked for drugs and weapons. We were led to the chapel to set up our equipment, and then we gathered together for prayer. The prison chaplain approached me and said, "You know, Lorraine, you probably won’t have too many coming; usual attendance is about five or six inmates because of late movie watching, etc." I remember saying, "Let’s trust God and set up 60 chairs." He looked at me with disbelief and said, "I hope you won’t be disappointed."

We turned up the music louder than usual and began singing songs with a lot of joy! Out of curiosity, each inmate would peak his head out of his room, and slowly but surely made their way down the hall, and into the chapel. I felt the Holy Spirit directing our every move. Within 20 minutes, we had approximately 60 inmates seated in the chapel, and I did not have a clue as to how I would open up this service. We stopped the music and opened with a small prayer. I looked into the eyes of each of the prisoners, and my heart was once again pierced with an overwhelming love for them.

What was I going to say?

I felt the Holy Spirit rising within and out came these words. "You know there isn’t much difference between you and me; you are imprisoned behind physical walls and I am imprisoned within internal walls. "I talked about my anger, resentments and grudges towards all those who did not love me, and how Jesus set me free from my prison within. My testimony allowed me to gain their trust and from there, the Holy Spirit took over. As we prayed with every inmate, I watched the tears roll down their cheeks and I witnessed God’s love healing their broken heart, removing their blindness and setting their captive hearts free. This powerful manifestation carried on into the women’s prison as well.

This beautiful experience transformed my life. The word "Christian" was not just a word I would use loosely anymore. If I truly was Christian, then I needed to choose each day to love as Christ loved. I know this will not be easy in my humanity but with Jesus, I can receive the strength to endure. Philippians 4:13 says, "I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me." Jesus is not asking me for perfection but obedience.

How can I help love stand?

This experience inspired me to write a song entitled "Help Love Stand". A reminder to myself and others that we must look beyond color or race, creed, political views, moral values, the clothes we wear, the style of our hair, the rich and the famed, the poor and the lame. None of this makes a difference, when we are looking through the eyes of true love. Then we can see Christ in all people.

Do not judge others, so that God will not judge you, for God will judge you in the same way as you judge others, and he will apply to you the same rules you apply to others.(Matthew 7: 1- 2)

It is all laid out so beautifully for us in God’s Word:

Love is patient and kind, it is not jealous or conceited or proud
Love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable
Love does not keep a record of wrongs
Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth
Love never gives up and its faith, hope and patience never fail. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Today I will start by doing little things each day. I might open a door for an elderly person at the mall. I might be kind to the worker at the supermarket. I will make that special call to that person that needs to hear "I love you" today. I will help bring peace into the world. I will begin by saying "I’m sorry" to all those I have wounded and forgive all those who have wounded me. I will pray for my enemies and love all those who persecute me.

Can you imagine the peace around the world if every Christian lived out their call to love as Christ loved? The question is, am I willing to pay the price?

Let every day be a Valentine’s Day! God loves you and so do I!

Love,
Lorraine

Editor's Note: This blog is adapted from a chapter in Lorraine's book "BE REAL" available through Nineveh's Crossing. Click the image in the column to the right to be taken to Lorraine's Nineveh's Crossing page.

LOVING YOURSELF

Saturday February 9, 2008

DO I LOVE MYSELF?

How do I love myself?
Every day I try to walk at least two miles as a form of exercise but also to give me some special time to spend with God. This particular day I was frustrated because I was sick and tired of so many people telling me “Lorraine you need to learn how to love yourself, you’re always running yourself down”! With tears in my eyes I cried out to the Lord and said “please help me to know how to love myself, I don’t want to be self centered or arrogant, help me understand what this means”.
Within a few minutes I was given a vision as I was walking. It was kind of like a television screen that was placed right in front of me and what I saw shocked me. I was holding a bat and I was hitting Jesus on the head. I began to scream and say “Lord I am SO SORRY when did I ever do this to you”? I heard a small voice speak to me saying “whenever you beat yourself up you are doing it to me”.

Jesus had revealed to me that I was the temple in which he resided and when I do not love myself I am not loving him. When I allow others to “name call” and “reject” me, I am allowing them to do it to Jesus. For the first time in my life I know myself worth comes from no one but Jesus. I was made in the image of God and God does not make “junk”. I should love everything about myself because that’s the way God made me. If I have bad behavior that is something I can change but… I can still love myself.

Why is it so important that we learn to love ourselves?
The two greatest commandments are to “love the lord your God with all your heart, your soul and your mind, and to love your neighbor as you love yourself”.

If I do not love myself I cannot fulfill what God is commanding me to do. Therefore I have made a commitment to sit before God in prayer each morning, loving him with all my heart, soul and mind. God’s love fills me up so I can love myself and begin each day giving this love to my neighbor. When I have given so much love away I come back to prayer and he fills me up again.

One last thought. You are the one person that you are never going to get away from. God invites you to come as you are….HE will help you learn to love yourself.

Face it…you’re stuck with you!

Love,
Lorraine